why i dont like things right now, but also why i do

The last month have been stressful.

I really love the autumn colours and the colder weather, but it also means later sunrises and soaked feet.

I've had continuous late nights and early mornings finishing work and making enough time to play a few tunes or draw a few people. After handing in two of my three assignments this week, I allowed myself to sleep in and I woke up feeling my body ache with the weight of the week.

My age day is next week. I can't believe that 22 has come so soon. It has always been during exam times - ever since high school. I find it depressing and unavoidable that everyone is "too busy" to see me on my birthday. I suppose I'm having a self-pity moment.

It was rain, thunder and lightning last night. I came home late and walked through the park and let myself get completely soaked. I felt like a kid again. It was nice to have the rain at this time, it was cleansing. I liked watching the lightning from my window and made me think of times as a child with Ali watching my curtains flicker with the storm.

I haven't felt that comfortable at home lately. I've been the one to tell D how to settle in. I relay information between Jing and D because she is too shy to ask and it is just such a bother to be the person in between. It is exhausting and sometimes I feel like they forget that I have university continuously on my mind and that home really is the place that I go for comfort - it is my home and not just a place where I sleep.

Each time I caught a tram this week, I would be pushed into a conversation with a stranger. They were always kind, but very chatty. A older lady loved my jumper and proceeded to stroke my arm fondly and then hobble off of the tram. I think she had been drinking.

Though exhausting, University has been "lively" (probably the wrong word to use as most people probably feel dead) but the motivation has definitely picked up and I, too, have felt the need to work hard and really get into it - making up for my month of depression and bed times after America.

My favourite class this semester has been Enter the Playhouse where we explore the Malthouse and propose a new design for the entry. My teacher was great, even in one on one discussions she spontaneously brought her ipad full of works that she thought would relate to our design proposal. Class was good too, we were lucky to have a happy group of people. Everyone got a long and motivated each other. I wish all classes were this good.

Looking forward to the semester end. Looking forward to time to make without uni on my brain.

Having lots of nostalgia since I read Eddie's tumblr post. Missing Taiwan times and taiwan friends.

Sarah and I sent videos to each other just today and made me so happy but also so sad. sighhhhhhhh.

good

Be Friends with Failure
Brick by Brick
Super Obvious Secrets That I Wish They'd Teach In Art School

home time

I like going home.

My sister picked me up from the airport and on the way to her house we saw a shooting star. We were driving down a hill, the view was of city lights, and for a split second we both saw a light stream across the sky. It was beautiful to see as it has been many years since I have seen one.

I spent the first night sleeping at my sister's. I told her it there was no need for heating in my room because I felt so cosy under the layers of blankets... but I regretted that decision when I woke up at 2am and couldn't go back to sleep because it was so cold.

When the morning came, my sister and I went to buy yellow roses (my mum's favourite) and we went to the family house to surprise her. On the way there we spotted the sky whale - a new hot air balloon in Canberra. My sister was so excited to see it that she was hardly looking at the road.

When we arrived at the house, I walked through the doors and mum reacted normally and then suddenly it clicked and she said, "what are you doing here!!" it was nice that she didn't expect me.

The next day mum and I woke up early to see the Sky whale tethered at the park near Questacon.

This boobied hot air balloon apparently caused a fuss with Canberra citizens. People said the money should go to schools or hospitals rather than the balloon. My mum said that she has grown to love it and thinks that the money has gone to something that is interesting and fun for all people to view.

I love Canberra when it is changing from Autumn to winter. The days are sunny and the air is so crisp. In the mornings, the grass is covered in beautiful frost while the trees are filled with magnificent colour.

In my spare time, I made pomegranate juice out of the ageing fruit and it was delicious! I also spent time with my sister and mum trying on bridesmaids dresses and watching my sister try on numerous bridal gowns.

Dad cooked a feast for mum's birthday. It was just a family dinner and it was really really great. I wouldn't have missed it for anything else in the world. The night was full of laughing and happiness.
I am very grateful to have my family. I love them all greatly.

My sister and I spent a lot of time making a pineapple shaped cake for my mum. I added a little cat next to it (its meant to be Taichee!)

The birds outside ate the offcuts off the birthday cake (so in a way they celebrated with us)

Speaking of Taichee... She joined us for dessert!

I think mum really enjoyed her celebrations. We even put her name in the paper with a photo of the family... she was surprised and remarked, "Now EVERYONE knows my age!!" haha whoops.

- - - 

I caught the flu while I was in Canberra so the flight back into Melbourne was very painful. My ears ached so much as the plane descended. They have never hurt so much in my life. Still my hearing is muffled... I hope when I wake that my hearing will be better.

Today I received an email from the Estonian exchange office. They told me that my artistic level was impressive and thought that I would be better suited to their Fine Arts courses or Design courses as opposed to their Architecture ones. In any case, I wasn't offered a place for Interior architecture. They did tell me to apply for Fine Arts and Design and wanted to hear back from me, but I think it is unlikely that that would work out with my RMIT arrangement.

I had this feeling from the start that I wouldn't get in. It wasn't a bad feeling at all, it was just something that was constant. As if to say I'm meant to do something else. I think I felt some pressure to go to Europe because I wanted to see Sarah and Vanni so much. I know I will see them again, but just not this year.

tree house

On windy days like this, I open up all the windows and the door to the balcony. The trees are swaying with the wind and I feel the current flow right through the house. When I sit in the lounge room I feel like i'm living in an awesome treehouse.

N Y and D W

As you all may have noticed... I have been avoiding looking through my U S A photos. Every time I begin, I get SAD because I actually really want to be back there (especially now that it is warmer!)

What I loved most about the trip was spending time to wander the city by myself or with Jenny. I was so impressed by the buildings and I just adored the feeling of getting to know a new place. That feeling has become comforting over the years.

I really want to write more about the trip, but it will definitely turn into rambling so I am going to keep most of that to myself. I may add more words later on, but it is time for sleep.

Here are just a few of the photos I took while in America:

The view from LA -> NY

 Manhattan
(Last: the view from the top of The Rockefeller Center)

 Brooklyn

 The MET

 The Guggenheim 

Harry Potter World wand shop

Disney World fireworks