i see

the things i hear, you disappear

this is how we pass time

This morning was a bit perfect. I woke up to cloudy skies (something I don't normally do easily) and I took a walk through my park to the local bakery/cafe to buy an almond croissant for breakfast. The weather was just right. Calm air and a cold atmosphere. I walked back through the park and sat on the bench under the giant tree that I like so much. There weren't many people. It was really peaceful to just sit under the slowly moving branches and to hear the leaves move with the very gentle breeze. 

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I met with Nina for brunch. It had been over a year since I had seen her last. It always surprises me to not have awkwardness when getting to know somebody new. We walked to the market together and planned future meetings.

I stayed at my Grandparent's house for a few days. I stay in the room that faces out into the street. It faces the sunrise. At night time, before bed, I sit and look out onto the distant lights and watch them flicker and move and think that those are people out there. I like the light that moves into the room at different times - mainly during the night and sunrise.

Mum asked me to water the front yard. I picked up the hose and there was a hole a couple meters down from the nosel. I walked around the grass in flip flops and managed to twist the rope so that hole, where water was spurting out, towards my face and I got soaked... then I after I wiped my face dry I managed to walk into a low spiky branch and my hair was filled with tiny thorns. I am so elegant at times.

I met with Sim next to Glen Waverley station for lunch. The bowl of noodles was so huge that it could have fed two people. We talked about things of the past and I got to know her a little bit more. I had brought my sketchbook to show her some new drawings and she brought out a few drawings of her own, saying that she doesn't normally share them but knew that I would really like to see them. She has been drawing her dreams lately. The pictures were very cool.

Also during the week, Sim and I saw Samsara and it was super amazing and I literally felt, at times, that I was in the places that they showed on screen. Everyone should see it. 

I went to Pandas' home in the late afternoon. I saw Sarah for the first time since before the New Year and she cooked a yum and simple beef noodle soup. I brought some Red Bean Mochi and also some of the malaysian layered dessert for everyone. I actually forgot that I really like the malaysian one. Num num.

The sky was changing beautifully while the sun set. 

Later I sat with them, happily and comfortably, on the bed and we watched movies till late and left in time for one of the last trains. It was a nice night.

Last night was one of those occasions where I remove all feelings of awkwardness and force myself to talk to people I haven't spoken to in ages - mainly on facebook chat (as much as I dislike it)

I have been waiting to get in contact with Zor for a long while. She is somewhere in America staying with a possible love. Despite us not talking as much as we did in late high school years, we still manage to understand each other's feelings and situations really well and it was very nice to talk to her again. We planned our indian food dates and possibly avocado and salmon times.

I stayed up late, sharing drawings with Sim and talking to Elaine, trying to encourage her to draw more. She would reply that she didn't know what to draw. Frustrated, I just told her to draw and not to think, or to draw anything until the thought just goes and things become natural. She said she didn't want to draw anything "bad" and that she only wanted the "good" and told her it was like choosing that you only want to experience day, not night and that was so silly.

I also talked to both Js individually. Sharing written words with both of them. One telling me he would visit soon, always saying that he should get away. Both of them liking different things I had written. One having writing that flows so beautifully. The other being very anecdotal, telling me stories of himself.

It was good to talk to them all.

learning about you and me

I went to visit my grandparent's when the weather hit 41 degrees. I went up to see Rose and Monica because they were catching a midnight flight back home. The heat made even constructing sentences difficult, so I spent most of my time killing zombies on my iphone. Every so often, mum would go out to spray the plants, so that the air around the house would cool down. I followed her out and she turned the hose on to me and all my clothes were soaked. It was so refreshing that every hour or so, I would just go outside and put on the sprinkler and shoot it upwards over me and let it fall on me like rain.

As night came, two of my cousins arrived for dinner. Mum made duck soup for me and my uncle (he likes it too), my aunty made me my favourite steamed pork dish and dad cooked curry, vegetables and oxtail stew.

As the sun set, Ems and I went into the backyard to take a look at what fruit were growing. The lighting was really lovely, so I took some photos.

her collection

little butterfly and coloured petals

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 herbal tea time

I spent most of Saturday at the Panda's house. 

We spent time reading to each other our chinese zodiac and also our star signs. When it came to 'compatibility' between zodiac animals, I said out loud, "what goes well with sheep?" and Andii started naming dressings that would make sheep taste yum. 

dinner

I brought them some duck soup that my mum cooked the night before. I kept telling them not to add anything to it but then did in the ennnnnd oh pandas. Haha.

'goodbye' card making

We watched interesting TED talks till Dylan and Katelyn picked me up at 10pm.

selfies in the backyard haha

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They were meant to pick me up earlier but Dylan had texted saying that something had come up. When I got into the car they told me that they were at dinner but the waitress forgot to bring their food for an hour and a half.

We headed towards Anouska's house. I was feeling so much dread. When we got there the entrance was massive and I almost ran away. We got inside and immediately walked to the four other girls from our course. The conversation was awkward, but got better once Dylan went and bought us wine.

We sat on the roof top, on some sun chairs and I gazed at the glorious view. I took photos of everyone all snuggled on the chairs. It was really windy and cold up on the roof, so everyone shared chairs and a few borrowed the expensive coats that were hanging inside.

tara and johann

 bron and tess

dylan and katelyn

I saw the half moon slowly rise over the city and it was massive and beautiful and for me better than anything the inside offered. Johann came to the half way in so we all had another person to talk with. I laughed so hard after I spoke with Katelyn and Dylan about their dinner. Katelyn said that Dylan got super mad and didn't want to pay and I was so surprised because he just doesn't seem like the guy to get angry. She then told me that one time the taxi people didn't send him a taxi when he ordered and he called up and said he'd burn down their office. AHAHAH I was like... You are a crazy person but I still think you're awesome so it is ok. Please don't burn down my home. I will joke about this forever.

After some time on the roof, Tess and Tara were ready to dance. These girls are super hilarious when they drink... I felt bad because I think most of the time I was just laughing at things or people. So everyone decided to go downstairs. I wanted to sit longer upstairs because it was much more peaceful than the loudness of the inside, but Johann insisted I went downstairs to dance awkwardly. 

It always makes me cringe when I think of tipsy dancing. I vaguely remember my face hurting a lot because I was laughing so much. I didn't even dance for very long. Tess looked at me on the dance floor, and yelled, "CLOSE YOUR EYES. AND JUST MOVE WITH IT." and I was thinking, "I am really not drunk enough for this." I looked around and limbs were being thrown about and I walked danced for a bit (when I did, Bron said to me, "Yeah! That's great! How good is this!") and then ran away to the calmer side of the house.

I spoke to Bron about uni and about holidays. She is such a nice and interesting girl but we are never in the same class!

It was odd sometimes. I felt like what I saw in certain people hadn't been realised by them yet. It was actually kind of disappointing to see that, to me, there was this lack of depth in some people. They just seemed to be acting the whole time. It was sad simply because I know there is a lot more quality in them than what they are showing.

I spoke to Johann more, the first time I met him was on the day the world was meant to end - the dinner at Dylan's house. He told me then he was hoping to study creative writing at RMIT, he wrote poetry, left the modelling industry because he didn't like like it and he wanted to do script writing. This time he asked about my stop motion progress and I told him I was working on a new one. He took my phone and added his email and told me to email it to him once I had finished. I'm happy to have met him cus it has been good to talk about stories.

It got to about 2:30am and Dyaln and Katelyn were ready for home so we said bye to everyone. Tess came at my face intensely and at the last second kissed me goodbye on the cheek and I said to her, "... geeeeez." and she laughed and said, "Did I freak you out for a second??" and I was like, "yes I thought you were going to make out with me O_O"

Between others, some nice words and moments were shared.

I happily hugged everyone else goodbye and when I got home I drunk so much water and then fell asleep. I think the next day was the first time ever I have woken up feeling slightly headachy. 

noodles are for always

I really considered changing the title of this post to simply, "2 0 1 3" because I thought that it would be more appropriate ... but what is more appropriate than noodles? Nothing at all.

I loved the holiday season. I think I enjoyed almost every minute of it, despite the silly family arguments and occasional tension.

Now that it's over, I feel that I need some time to adjust to the sudden lack of company and affection that my siblings and family gave me. I've spent the last couple of days feeling an incredible lack of motivation and inspiration for anything. It sounds awful but I'm giving myself some time to grow back into my surroundings.

There are a few things I loved the most about the holidays:

Running like crazy people from my grandparent's house to my aunt's house with my brother and sister late at night on Christmas Eve. 

My siblings and I saying, "UNACCEPTAAABLE!" like Lemon Grab at whatever we thought was slightly unacceptable. 

Playing monopoly till 3am with siblings, Brandon, Clare and Christine.

When my siblings and I planned to have an "early night" but instead stayed up singing and playing guitar together till the early am.

Mum being santa and giving us a stocking to share for the first time in 9 years for me, 13 years for my brother and 17 years for my sister. 

Eating dessert before and after seeing a Wreck-it-Ralph with my siblings.

Brother being creepy with the dead hand thing.

Dad telling us in the car, "I chose stir fry over drugs when I was growing up." and my sister replying, "I think you passed that gene on to us."

A conversation between my brother and my grandma about his current relationship:

pp: You have a new girlfriend?
brother: Yes.
pp: What happened to B... Beth?
brother: Bec... We broke up like two years ago.
pp: You know... Beth not very pretty.'

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Every year I give myself some new resolutions. I have yet to finish mine, however I will list a few things from my growing list.

1. Feed myself good food

Over the holiday season I was filled with the best family food ever. I have outgrown the days where I am ok with eating super tasty food only when I'm with family.

2013 will bring me yum, healthy, food at my own home made by me... more often.

I have started already (whoohoo) and cooked myself some chicken and vegetable soup w/ stir-fried chicken on top and it was yum.

2. Super cut back on instant noodles

Because they are evil and so instant and noodley. It seems like an easy task, but seeing as my asian side wants noodles all the time, i'm sure I will struggle at some point.

I will list some more of New Years Resolutions in a new post once I finish thinking of them!

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I took a walk yesterday. The weather was just right and I wanted to enjoy it before the heatwave strikes. I walked to the park that is up past the station- it's the one I want to take everyone to. 

 signs of stories being made

I spotted this on my way out of the park. Someone had dug holes under the trees and also collected stones and twigs and put them in a pile to the side. It reminded me of the shops that my friends and I would build at recess time while in Primary school. We would run to the cluster of trees and begin sweeping away the fallen leaves. We'd collect certain things (the gum nuts were our currency) and we'd try and sell what we made to each other. There was even a banker who kept all of the gum nuts. Some kids even robbed the bank after school and when it was time to play we all found out we were poor so we started from the beginning.

on the way home