dawg

It was one of those moments where something FINALLY MAKES SENSE in my mind.

DAWG = DOG ?!?!?

WHAT IN THE WORLD HAVE I BEEN READING THAT WORD AS? I THINK I NORMALLY JUST IGNORE IT WHEN PEOPLE TYPE IT TO ME.

I understand it now.

I just went into a laughing fit with Veev.

I don't understand myself at all sometimes.

My world has been exploded.

WHAT IS HAPPENING.

tired eyes

These holidays have gone so quickly... but I suppose everything does in retrospect. I have spent time in Canberra, Sydney and Melbourne.

I spent just less than a month in Canberra, originally just to surprise my best friend on her 21st birthday and a dentist check-up but then staying longer because of comfort and friends. I went for many bike rides and often rode down hills with my hands waving in the air happily (kinda like an octopus on a bike) I loved the times I saw E and H, even by the third day we managed to find things to do, laugh and be silly. One afternoon, on our way to get pizza I looked up at the sky and saw crazy beautiful things happening. I didn't have my camera on me (which always makes me cry inside) but I made both E and H stare up at the sky with me. Clouds were red and wispy layered over a deep blue-grey heavy rain clouds.

botanical gardens

sky mirror

I went to Sydney for Chinese New Year to celebrate with my Dad's side of the family. Before heading to my relatives home, my parents and I took a walk around the botanic gardens. The cactus plants were huge and scared part of me. I went to MCA to take a look at Anish Kapoor's work and it was just amazing. I am glad I didn't miss it !

Celebrations were happy and delicious. I like seeing my extended family. We play majong and a monopoly card game every year (and I won for the first time ever whoo hoo) I took home a bag of my favourite tea egg and ate it for breakfast for the next couple of days. So yum.

apple pie in the making

ready for baking

While in Canberra, I cooked huge amounts of apple pie for my family and friends. The last batch was soooo much better than the first haha.

bubble-o-bill

I saw Zor a few times, we sat in random parks and talked mainly of her adventures. We are always aware of the "limits" of our relationship. We have learnt, after hectic times in high school, that we can only spend a certain amount of time with each other or we end up getting really cranky. Nowadays we aren't shy to say what we want to say and often mumble to each other, "errrarrghhh you are so crazy" - and though it can come off as rude to others, we know that is a form of endearment between us. We had our traditional indian food day and on Valentine's sent each other stilly messages like "Love you long time" and "I choo-choo-choose you".

Things we say to each other: "I mean... we could walk for a while... but then we would be walking for a while."

late night home

I returned to Melbourne for Gung Gung's 95th birthday dinner. (photos & writing in the next post)

I stayed up late each night, spending the majority of my time with friends and family. On the first day back Pandas' invited me over for an evening catch up. It had been almost a month since I had seen them so it was really lovely to be in their company again. We looked up videos of meteorites, rings, skyped with veev, reviewed my 'new' resume and as the evening came I saw a super awesome sunset. Also there was a random English pizza guy that came to the window.  I took a late train home - which is something I don't like doing often, but it was worth staying late just to be around the pandas.

The next day Sim came over and we painted and then visited Chi at her new place in South bank. Her apartment was so new and pretty. They had spas and a pool in the apartment complex too ! Sim and I stayed late into the night. Most of the time we all sat on Chi's bed listening to each other's stories while Chi and I sung and played the guitar. 

I watched Samsara again with the Pandas. I thought it was just as good as the first time. I kind of forced the Pandas back to my house and awkwardly made dinner. I was super happy they visited my home though ! I think my parent's are the ones that have made me stressed about having 'new' guests/hosting. They took turns helping me cook dinner and once it was done we relaxed in lounge room with the aircon on.

On the last day of being in Melbourne, I met with Rainbow in the city. When he first saw me he said, "Wow you look so refreshed compared to last year!"

He was so excited about his new coffee plunger that he made me a cup, even though I don't drink it much anymore. I went to see his new apartment and the whole time he was saying, "don't judge meee ahh sorry it is messy" I just found it funny. He shared some music and I gave him my old watch. He felt so obliged to give me something back, he treated me to lunch and promised to buy me alcohol (?) and some paintbrushes. It's always nice to hang out with Rainbow.

sunset at Pandas'

I'm back to Melbourne tomorrow and University will start soon. I'm not sure how I feel about it all... but I just hope this year will continue to be happy, that I will learn new things, meet nice random people and continue to find things awesome.

In the next post I will write about the 95th and my sister's engagement : )

days passing

bike ride to my sister's home

rising waters

Dreams have come to me real and vivid. The nights have brought me to beautiful and overwhelming landscapes. One night I was in my sunroom I looked up to the dark skies and I saw a giant moon that almost covered my entire view of the stars. Beside the moon was its own, smaller, orbiting planet. When I was in the dream I thought it was real and that it was so frighteningly close. 

Last night I walked with a group of people along the shallow side of a lake that was closed in by mountains. Snow had fallen and the grass around the lake was covered in a white sheet. As I slowly made my way through the water, I thought to myself that this was one of the most wonderful places I had been to. Once we emerged from the water and began walking towards the base of the mountain, I came across a magnificent flower blooming amongst the snow. I felt that it was rare and the most beautiful flower I had ever seen.

---

These past few weeks have been spent mainly in solitude. I have told few friends that I am here so I have used my time alone to bike ride around the lake and to sit in the garden with my cat and marvel at the little things.

The few times that I have spent with friends have been happy. My favourite has been with H and E at H's house playing bomberman, eating pide, watching the worst movie ever and listening to the rain fall heavily outside. A part of me feels completed when I am with those two, it's like the past times of primary school and growing up resurface clearly and it's almost like I'm back there and we're all kids again yet in the comfort of our adult selves. These two understand me on a degree only those who have seen me as a child would. They might not know much about the present me, but they relate and communicate so well with my foundation. We laugh at the same jokes and get competitive like we used to but also manage to talk about some "deep and meaningful" topics.

I like the time I spend with my sister. Even the sports days - where I go with her and play indoor soccer/netball/volleyball with her team... where people call me "liz" and where one thinks I study writing. Despite those incorrect understandings, I am happy to go and just run around, get exhausted and not care too about how silly I look. 

I watched "Beauty is Embarrassing" the other night and loved it the whole way through. It literally made my happiness levels go wooowowowoo and when it ended I was left feeling really good about life.

I am hoping this year will be a good one. 

So far so good.

i see

the things i hear, you disappear

this is how we pass time

This morning was a bit perfect. I woke up to cloudy skies (something I don't normally do easily) and I took a walk through my park to the local bakery/cafe to buy an almond croissant for breakfast. The weather was just right. Calm air and a cold atmosphere. I walked back through the park and sat on the bench under the giant tree that I like so much. There weren't many people. It was really peaceful to just sit under the slowly moving branches and to hear the leaves move with the very gentle breeze. 

---

I met with Nina for brunch. It had been over a year since I had seen her last. It always surprises me to not have awkwardness when getting to know somebody new. We walked to the market together and planned future meetings.

I stayed at my Grandparent's house for a few days. I stay in the room that faces out into the street. It faces the sunrise. At night time, before bed, I sit and look out onto the distant lights and watch them flicker and move and think that those are people out there. I like the light that moves into the room at different times - mainly during the night and sunrise.

Mum asked me to water the front yard. I picked up the hose and there was a hole a couple meters down from the nosel. I walked around the grass in flip flops and managed to twist the rope so that hole, where water was spurting out, towards my face and I got soaked... then I after I wiped my face dry I managed to walk into a low spiky branch and my hair was filled with tiny thorns. I am so elegant at times.

I met with Sim next to Glen Waverley station for lunch. The bowl of noodles was so huge that it could have fed two people. We talked about things of the past and I got to know her a little bit more. I had brought my sketchbook to show her some new drawings and she brought out a few drawings of her own, saying that she doesn't normally share them but knew that I would really like to see them. She has been drawing her dreams lately. The pictures were very cool.

Also during the week, Sim and I saw Samsara and it was super amazing and I literally felt, at times, that I was in the places that they showed on screen. Everyone should see it. 

I went to Pandas' home in the late afternoon. I saw Sarah for the first time since before the New Year and she cooked a yum and simple beef noodle soup. I brought some Red Bean Mochi and also some of the malaysian layered dessert for everyone. I actually forgot that I really like the malaysian one. Num num.

The sky was changing beautifully while the sun set. 

Later I sat with them, happily and comfortably, on the bed and we watched movies till late and left in time for one of the last trains. It was a nice night.

Last night was one of those occasions where I remove all feelings of awkwardness and force myself to talk to people I haven't spoken to in ages - mainly on facebook chat (as much as I dislike it)

I have been waiting to get in contact with Zor for a long while. She is somewhere in America staying with a possible love. Despite us not talking as much as we did in late high school years, we still manage to understand each other's feelings and situations really well and it was very nice to talk to her again. We planned our indian food dates and possibly avocado and salmon times.

I stayed up late, sharing drawings with Sim and talking to Elaine, trying to encourage her to draw more. She would reply that she didn't know what to draw. Frustrated, I just told her to draw and not to think, or to draw anything until the thought just goes and things become natural. She said she didn't want to draw anything "bad" and that she only wanted the "good" and told her it was like choosing that you only want to experience day, not night and that was so silly.

I also talked to both Js individually. Sharing written words with both of them. One telling me he would visit soon, always saying that he should get away. Both of them liking different things I had written. One having writing that flows so beautifully. The other being very anecdotal, telling me stories of himself.

It was good to talk to them all.

learning about you and me

I went to visit my grandparent's when the weather hit 41 degrees. I went up to see Rose and Monica because they were catching a midnight flight back home. The heat made even constructing sentences difficult, so I spent most of my time killing zombies on my iphone. Every so often, mum would go out to spray the plants, so that the air around the house would cool down. I followed her out and she turned the hose on to me and all my clothes were soaked. It was so refreshing that every hour or so, I would just go outside and put on the sprinkler and shoot it upwards over me and let it fall on me like rain.

As night came, two of my cousins arrived for dinner. Mum made duck soup for me and my uncle (he likes it too), my aunty made me my favourite steamed pork dish and dad cooked curry, vegetables and oxtail stew.

As the sun set, Ems and I went into the backyard to take a look at what fruit were growing. The lighting was really lovely, so I took some photos.

her collection

little butterfly and coloured petals

---

 herbal tea time

I spent most of Saturday at the Panda's house. 

We spent time reading to each other our chinese zodiac and also our star signs. When it came to 'compatibility' between zodiac animals, I said out loud, "what goes well with sheep?" and Andii started naming dressings that would make sheep taste yum. 

dinner

I brought them some duck soup that my mum cooked the night before. I kept telling them not to add anything to it but then did in the ennnnnd oh pandas. Haha.

'goodbye' card making

We watched interesting TED talks till Dylan and Katelyn picked me up at 10pm.

selfies in the backyard haha

---

They were meant to pick me up earlier but Dylan had texted saying that something had come up. When I got into the car they told me that they were at dinner but the waitress forgot to bring their food for an hour and a half.

We headed towards Anouska's house. I was feeling so much dread. When we got there the entrance was massive and I almost ran away. We got inside and immediately walked to the four other girls from our course. The conversation was awkward, but got better once Dylan went and bought us wine.

We sat on the roof top, on some sun chairs and I gazed at the glorious view. I took photos of everyone all snuggled on the chairs. It was really windy and cold up on the roof, so everyone shared chairs and a few borrowed the expensive coats that were hanging inside.

tara and johann

 bron and tess

dylan and katelyn

I saw the half moon slowly rise over the city and it was massive and beautiful and for me better than anything the inside offered. Johann came to the half way in so we all had another person to talk with. I laughed so hard after I spoke with Katelyn and Dylan about their dinner. Katelyn said that Dylan got super mad and didn't want to pay and I was so surprised because he just doesn't seem like the guy to get angry. She then told me that one time the taxi people didn't send him a taxi when he ordered and he called up and said he'd burn down their office. AHAHAH I was like... You are a crazy person but I still think you're awesome so it is ok. Please don't burn down my home. I will joke about this forever.

After some time on the roof, Tess and Tara were ready to dance. These girls are super hilarious when they drink... I felt bad because I think most of the time I was just laughing at things or people. So everyone decided to go downstairs. I wanted to sit longer upstairs because it was much more peaceful than the loudness of the inside, but Johann insisted I went downstairs to dance awkwardly. 

It always makes me cringe when I think of tipsy dancing. I vaguely remember my face hurting a lot because I was laughing so much. I didn't even dance for very long. Tess looked at me on the dance floor, and yelled, "CLOSE YOUR EYES. AND JUST MOVE WITH IT." and I was thinking, "I am really not drunk enough for this." I looked around and limbs were being thrown about and I walked danced for a bit (when I did, Bron said to me, "Yeah! That's great! How good is this!") and then ran away to the calmer side of the house.

I spoke to Bron about uni and about holidays. She is such a nice and interesting girl but we are never in the same class!

It was odd sometimes. I felt like what I saw in certain people hadn't been realised by them yet. It was actually kind of disappointing to see that, to me, there was this lack of depth in some people. They just seemed to be acting the whole time. It was sad simply because I know there is a lot more quality in them than what they are showing.

I spoke to Johann more, the first time I met him was on the day the world was meant to end - the dinner at Dylan's house. He told me then he was hoping to study creative writing at RMIT, he wrote poetry, left the modelling industry because he didn't like like it and he wanted to do script writing. This time he asked about my stop motion progress and I told him I was working on a new one. He took my phone and added his email and told me to email it to him once I had finished. I'm happy to have met him cus it has been good to talk about stories.

It got to about 2:30am and Dyaln and Katelyn were ready for home so we said bye to everyone. Tess came at my face intensely and at the last second kissed me goodbye on the cheek and I said to her, "... geeeeez." and she laughed and said, "Did I freak you out for a second??" and I was like, "yes I thought you were going to make out with me O_O"

Between others, some nice words and moments were shared.

I happily hugged everyone else goodbye and when I got home I drunk so much water and then fell asleep. I think the next day was the first time ever I have woken up feeling slightly headachy.